Dec 19 2008
Did your Ex Get First Dibs in the Holiday Custody Rotation?
What the heck will you do with yourself on December 25th?
We’ve talked about handling the challenges of your first holidays and other milestones. We’ve focused on the positive – try to stay busy, establish new traditions, be willing to celebrate on a day other than the actual holiday.
But we also need to acknowledge our sadness. I read an article recently about coping with the holidays when the kids are with your ex, and I thought one of the suggestions was excellent, if unexpected.
Catherine Behan suggests:
Rent A Sad Movie: Yes, you read right! It is a good thing to cry. I watched 28 Days this morning … I found it easy to cry and some of my sadness melted away with the tears.I think this is a terrific idea! Or something similarly cathartic. Go ahead and wallow in your sadness for a little while and let it out!
The great thing about a movie – or a novel, or just a carefully planned (read, ‘timed’) pity party is that afterwards, it’s time to move on!
Catherine’s other suggestions are great too, though targeted perhaps for those farther down the separated/divorced road. Be sure to line something up for your first Christmas alone that includes you not being alone! Whether you visit friends and family, volunteer for strangers, or invite a slew of acquaintances to stop by for an open house, when you are making your Christmas Day plans, go ahead and schedule some down time. You deserve it.
