Marriage Undone

Keeping yourself busy, meeting new people, taking up new hobbies or reconnecting with old interests are all good ways to help you move on after separation and divorce, but what if you really cannot shake the depression?Go to your doctor!There is absolutely nothing wrong with asking for some short term help.

When I really thought my second marriage was on the verge of collapse, I went to my doctor and told him what was going on. I really wanted to see a therapist, but my insurance would only cover the visits if my general doctor first diagnosed me as “depressed.” Not only did he prescribe the therapy, he wrote me ‘scripts for an anti-depressant and an anti-anxiety medication.

At my 30 day follow up, he asked me how the drugs were working. I answered a bit nonchalantly that at least I had not killed anyone yet.But about 10 days after that appointment, I really noticed the difference. I felt great. I was able to see in hindsight that I had been very depressed for months – long before things turned seriously bad in my marriage.

In my case, I believe treating my own depression had a huge impact on my marriage and allowed us to eventually reconcile. Even if you are not getting back together, eliminating the depression will help you negotiate wisely and with less debilitating emotion as you divide assets and arrange custody agreements.

Don’t suffer unnecessarily. Help is available – just ask!

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