Marriage Undone

I’ve known several women who felt a symbolic connection with reclaiming their lives when they changed their name after divorce. And I’ve known some men who really resented the fact that their ex wife continued to use her married name. I kept my married name after my first divorce until because I thought it would be helpful for my daughter for us to share the same name. As it turns out, I don’t really think that it mattered that much to her at all. To a certain extent, it makes things simpler, dealing with school and such. But most teaches are used to kids having different last names from their parents these days.

And it is just such a hassle to change your name! In fact I procrastinated changing to my new married name for just that reason, until I realized it was irritating my second husband. I might have discussed with him returning to my maiden name rather than taking another ”married” name. Plenty of people find it a bit old fashioned, maybe even sexist, to change your name to your husband’s. I had a rather common maiden name, though, and kind of preferred by husband’s name.

It’s a personal call…if your last name has enough significance for you to want to go through the hassle to change it, then it probably also has enough significance for you to want to keep it the same as your kids. But don’t let life’s catch-22’s bog you down. Just do what feels right when the time comes. I’m sure you have plenty of other more important divorce-related issues to worry about!