Marriage Undone

I’m bad about catching a line or two of The Early Show while I’m working in the morning, and then not hearing all the details. This morning I caught that “couples twice as likely to break up in January and February,” and the relationship experts interviewed speculated that the reason is “people feel empowerd to make changes this time of the year.”

I found this clip from last year which interviews lawyers who speculate that another reason is no one wants to mess up the holidays so they wait until after the New Year. In addition, “cheaters” are more likely to get caught during the holidays thanks to text messages and discovery of gifts purchased for the “other” man or woman.

My experiences have coincided with the holidays as well. With my first husband, we attempted to wait until after Christmas to announce our separation but found we just couldn’t keep up the act in front of friends and family. Our daughter was young, so she didn’t really understand what was happening. Our actual physical separation did take place immediately following the New Year.

My current husband similarly told me he wanted to separate right after the New Year three years ago (thank goodness he changed his mind before either of us actually moved out - and while it was a long and difficult rebuilding, we are still together.)

I wonder how much the New Years divorce surge has to do with winter depression and the “holiday blues”.  As the divorce attorney concludes in the CBS video, couples would be advised not to rush into divorce in the New Year any more than they would rush into marriage.