Comments on: Who Should Pay for the Kid’s “Extras” http://marriageundone.today.com/2009/02/19/who-should-pay-for-the-kids-extras/ Observations and Advice for those Experiencing a Marriage Coming UnDone Sun, 27 Dec 2009 20:52:42 +0000 http://www.today.com/version-2.3.1 By: dineane http://marriageundone.today.com/2009/02/19/who-should-pay-for-the-kids-extras/#comment-87 dineane Fri, 20 Feb 2009 22:56:18 +0000 http://marriageundone.today.com/2009/02/19/who-should-pay-for-the-kids-extras/#comment-87 Thank you both for your comments. For the record, I don't agree with Dad's saying "that's why I pay child support." I do, however, think that everyone has to realize that two households are more expensive than one, and some things are luxuries. Even more so in this economy! There is of course a big difference between braces and dance lessons...although my parents didn't divorce until I was in my twenties, and I never had much "needed" braces :-) The main point, I think, is to try your best not to make these kinds of money disagreements something your kid knows about. They won't understand our financial decisions until they are having to make them on their own. If you *know* your ex is not going to help for a particular expense, and you cannot afford it by yourself, tell your kids you are sorry, but don't tell them it's the ex's fault. If you *can* afford it and you are just upset on principle that your ex won't help pay, pay for it, accept the glory, but don't mention or rub it in that their other parent didn't help. Thank you both for your comments. For the record, I don’t agree with Dad’s saying “that’s why I pay child support.” I do, however, think that everyone has to realize that two households are more expensive than one, and some things are luxuries. Even more so in this economy!

There is of course a big difference between braces and dance lessons…although my parents didn’t divorce until I was in my twenties, and I never had much “needed” braces :-)

The main point, I think, is to try your best not to make these kinds of money disagreements something your kid knows about. They won’t understand our financial decisions until they are having to make them on their own.

If you *know* your ex is not going to help for a particular expense, and you cannot afford it by yourself, tell your kids you are sorry, but don’t tell them it’s the ex’s fault. If you *can* afford it and you are just upset on principle that your ex won’t help pay, pay for it, accept the glory, but don’t mention or rub it in that their other parent didn’t help.

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